There are many things we parents fear in regard to our children. While they were still in the womb, we hoe for a healthy child, all body parts in the right place. We want them to be free from injury and disease. As they become teenagers, we want them to make good choices, to stay away from "the wrong crowd," avoid trouble with the law, and to avoid habits that would compromise their health and safety. But we know our children will get sick and they will make bad choices. Some choices have short-term consequences while others may have wide-reaching impact. Teen pregnancy is a problem that has life-long consequences.
When a teenager gets pregnant parents are hurt and angry. They know the difficulties that lie ahead and they wish that their daughter had been wiser in her decisions. Overcoming the hurt and anger takes time, but they must be set aside for the best interest of the girl and the baby that she carries. The pregnant teen needs emotional, physical, and financial support. Deciding what to do will be one of the most important decisions of her life. Among her few options are abortion, raising the baby alone, marrying the father and raising the child in a family setting, or giving the baby up for adoption.
It is my opinion that abortion is no option. Advocates for abortion rights argue that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body. I would argue that woman had a right to choose not to get pregnant. This argument also fails to consider the rights of the child inside the woman's body. Regardless of one's opinion on the topic, there are other options that do not require one to make a life or death decision.
The teenager could choose to raise the child by herself. A teenage mother faces many problems when she is alone in raising a baby. First of all, she is not physically or emotionally mature enough to be a mother. Research shows that teenagers raising babies are more likely to neglect or abuse their children. These babies also have poorer test scores when they reach their school years, they are more likely to have a variety of mental health issues (ADHD, for example), and they are more likely to have relationship difficulties in their adolescent years. Young mothers must work to provide for their children making it difficult to continue one's education. This certainly does not mean that single mothers can't be successful. I am only suggesting that statistically it is much less likely and pragmatically it is much more difficult. Marrying the father and raising the child together holds many of the same draw-backs as single-parenting, but in addition, marriage under these conditions are very unstable and are much more likely to end in divorce.
The one option that is least disadvantageous to the child is adoption. Most of the criticisms I hear about adoption refer to disadvantages, the wants, and the needs of the mother and/or father. Yet all things considered, adoption holds the most advantages for the child. There are many loving couples who are desperately seeking to be parents. Through adoption, the child can grow up in a home with two financially stable parents who are psychologically and emotionally prepared for the daunting task of parenthood. When the teenage mother places her child up for adoption, she can then have her prenatal care financed by the adoptive parents and her child will be in a situation that, in the long run, is more advantageous for him or her. Also, the mother can continue life without the many complications of motherhood and perhaps have children at some future time in life when she is more adequately prepared for the task.
Suggesting that the adopted child will feel unloved or have adjustment problems when he or she has to deal with the reality of being adopted doesn't hold water. Even though many adopted children long to meet and know their birth parents, I have never met any adopted child or adult who was being raised in a loving home with two parents that had significant adjustment problems because of adoption.
When a mistake is made, the responsible person seeks to respond in a way that is best for the innocent. For this reason, when a teenager is pregnant, even though giving a child up for adoption would be difficult for the parents, grandparents, and others, it is very possibly the most loving thing to do for the baby.
